Call on dolly
If your neighbour needs a new romance
Just name the kind of man your sister
Wants and she’ll snatch him up
Don’t forget to bring your maiden aunts
And she’ll match ‘em up
Call on

She’s the one the spinsters recommend
She even found a lovely bride for poor cousin Isadore
Drag your single relations out
In a week you’ll have to
Send engraved invitations out
Call on dolly

If your eldest sister needs a friend
Just name the kind of man your sister
Wants and she’ll snatch him up
Don’t forget to bring your maiden aunts
And she’ll match ‘em up
Call on dolly
If your eldest daughter needs a friend

I have always been a woman who arranges things
For the pleasure and the profit it derives
I have always been a woman who arranges things
Like furniture and daffodils and lives

If you want your sister courted,
Brother wed or cheese imported
Just leave everything to me
If you want your roof inspected,
Eyebrows tweezed or bills collected
Just leave everything to me

If you want your daughter dated
Or  some marriage consummated
For a rather modest fee
If you want your husband spotted
Boyfriend traced or chicken potted
I’ll arrange for making all arrengments
Just leave everything to me

If you want your ego bolstered
Muscles toned or chair upholstered
Just leave everything to me
Charming social introductions
Expert mandolin instructions
Just leave everything to me
If you want your culture rounded
French improved or torso pounded
With a ten year guarantee
If you want a birth recorded
Collies bred or kittens boarded
I’ll proceed to plan the whole procedure
Just leave everything to me

If you want a law abolished
Jury swayed or toenails polished
Just leave everything to me
If you want your leaver tested
Glasses made, cash invested
Just leave everything to me
If you want your cildren coddled
Corsets boned or furs remodelled
Or some nice fresh fricassee
If you want your bustle shifted
Wedding planned or bosom lifted
Don’t be ashamed girls
Life is full of secrets and I keep ‘em!
I’ll discretely use my own discretion
I’ll arrange for making all  arrangements
I’ll proceed to plan the whole procedure
Just leave everything
to me